unreal

What is the deal with in-laws?  A loaded question perhaps but here I was on a girl’s getaway trip with my mom and two sisters-in-law and I had to bite my tongue several times.

For those who do not know much of my history, here it is in a nutshell.  My family is extremely close.  We have traditional holidays and gatherings more than once a month.  We all live within 3-5 miles of each other.  My oldest brother even bought my parents’ house when the time came for them to downsize ~ so the ‘family home’ wouldn’t go to strangers.

I have 2 older brothers.  I am the baby and the only girl.  So, yes, a bit of a princess if you want to call me that.  I don’t like the term but what can I say - if the glass slipper fits….

My brothers are successful.  Their wives are nice women, not snobs.  I get along with them because we like each other, because we’ve known each other for a long time.  Because we are family, not because we have to.

I am doing well in my career too.  Am independent, own my house and enjoy some of the finer things in life.  I was married once but that ended about 7 years ago – before I started my business.  So in other words, I’ve done it all on my own.  I don’t have kids.  I’d like one someday but I have yet to find the man whose child I want to bear.  Big deal.  There are thousands of girls just like me.

Okay so here it is:

We’re on the train coming home from the trip.  It was a long weekend of marathon shopping, wine drinking and dining.  I was exhausted and a bit depressed thinking about this same trip I took with someone I was very attached to this time last year.  Mom had gotten up to use the restroom.  I was lying back with my eyes closed.  They were chatting away and apparently thought I was asleep. 

“Poor Dayna,” Catie whispered.  “Another year gone and she’s still alone.”

“It must be hard for her that Jesse’s getting married,” Toni chimed in.

“What happened to her boyfriend from this summer?”

“She wanted to get serious and he didn’t.”

“I think the same thing happened with Rick last year.”

I couldn’t believe my ears.  That they were talking about me was a shock enough but drawing the wrong conclusions?!?  For a second I thought about pretending to be asleep and hearing them out but I figured I should set them straight.

“I can hear you…”  I said, sitting up.  The looks on their faces was priceless.  They started to back pedal saying how sorry they were that I heard it, etc.

“Are you sorry I heard it or sorry that you said it?  What you think about me is so far from the real thing it’s pathetic!”  I couldn’t help but yell.  A few heads turned my way and just then I saw Mom coming down the aisle to take her seat.  Great.

“You don’t know the first thing about me!  Mind your own business and stay out of mine!”

“What the hell is going on?”  Mom wanted to know.

“Ask them!”  I spat as I pushed past Mom to the restroom.

So there it is:  everyone has an opinion of me and my pathetic-looking life.  Once upon a time I’d have laughed at them and said they were just jealous but their speculating hit me hard.  Of course I want a love of my own.  Of course I want what they have, what my parents have, what my friends have.  But I will not settle for some guy just to satisfy the natural progression of a life.  I will not attempt to put a square peg in a round hole.  Why do I care what they think?  Because they are my family.  Because we are close as sisters.  The girls who I thought admired me for my independence actually pity me.  That’s a bitter pill to swallow.