3 posts tagged “adventures”
Okay so we were heading down to the bedroom below the bow and Jesse's phone rang.
"I gotta get that - it's my mom. She hates voicemail. I'll just be a minute"
I could hear his mom's voice through the phone, she was so loud. I tried not to eavesdrop and started to busy myself with untangling more Christmas lights. But I could still hear Linda.
"Jesse, I've got Karen here and she's hysterical. She said she's been trying to get a hold of you for weeks now and you won't return her calls. What the hell's going on - she's your wife and it's Christmas for heaven's sake!"
"Mom, calm down. What do you want me to do? We're separated and have been for a long time now and don't forget, it was her choice!"
"She's regretting that choice, Jess. She wants to make up. She's been leaving you that message and she said she wrote to you too. Why won't you give her another chance?"
"She's only saying that cause it's the holidays and she feels left out. You know how she is - no one to spend Christmas with so she's super sweet now and a bitch the rest of the year. We're not happy Mom and she needs to deal with it. She doesn't want to be with me; this will pass as soon as January comes"
"Jesse, Karen's pregnant"
I hoped I'd heard wrong. I was stunned. Jesse went into the bathroom and shut the door. He wanted privacy I'm sure. Wow, pregnant. I was trying to do the math. They were separated in the Spring. Must have tried to work it out at some point. If she was only newly pregnant, that meant that they were together in October. He was trying to date me in October after I moved into my new house.
My mood was completely spoiled as you can imagine. I tidied up the hot cocoa cups and started to write a note to Jesse when he came out.
"Sorry about that. My mom's having a crisis. I'm pretty sure you could tell by what I was saying that it has to do with Karen."
"I heard everything your mom said, Jesse. She talks loud"
"Oh. Then you heard the part about -"
"The baby. Yeah, I heard that part. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later"
"Wait Dayna. We can't leave it like this. Let me explain"
"There's nothing to explain, Jess. Just forget about it. It's obvious you got stuff to take care of. Goodnight"
Jesse grabbed me by both of my arms and pulled me close to his chest. I was just shaking my head in complete disbelief.
"Karen's lying, Dayna. Or if she is pregnant, it's not by me. We haven't slept together since before she asked me to leave. That was nine months ago at least. I don't know what she's trying to pull but I promise you - it's not what it looks like.
"I'm sorry, Jesse but I can't do this. Your wife wants you back and I'm not about to compete with that"
"She doesn't want me - she just doesn't want anyone else to have me"
"I gottta get out of here"
"Okay. Can we talk tomorrow?"
"Sure" I said lamely. I wanted to get as far away from him as possible. I can't believe I told him where I live! Damn!
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12/17
Jesse called the next day and convinced me to come to the Christmas boat parade. I really wanted to go and was feeling festive enough to put that phone call out of my head for a night. I just won't get close to him until I figure this all out, I thought.
In the mail was a Christmas card from Rob:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Dayna. Sorry I had to cancel our ski trip. I'm looking forward to seeing you soon - I'll be in your area the first week of January and I'll call you then. I'd love to get together. Rob
Wow. How about that? Sounds good. He's a great looking distraction for me. Maybe it'll be fun having a long-distance "friend"
I put the card on the mantel next to my others and headed out the door. I had a stop to make at the liquor store for Irish Cream for my coffee and then I was off to the marina.
A woman came up to me in the store. She was digging a business card out of her purse. I recognized it as one of mine - it has my photo on it. "Are you Dayna Shepard?" she asked. "Yes" I smiled, always wanting to meet new people for my business.
"You're a Wellness Coach aren't you?" I told her I was. "I've heard all about you from my friend. She goes to you and gave me your card. I'm going through some stuff right now and could really use some help in the nutrition department"
"I'd be happy to help you. Give me a call on Monday and I'll set you up for a consultation. What's your name?"
"Karen Cooke"
I was shaken to the core. Un-frickin- believable! I smiled and said "Okay, talk to you Monday" and she walked away.
Was this really happening? That was Jesse's WIFE! Her friend was my client and now she wanted my services! I was not going to tell Jesse. I completely forgot to ask who her friend was that referred me.
The lighted boat parade was a lot of fun. Jesse's employees and their kids were so fun to be around. We had a great time and I was able to get out of there pretty easily. I was determined not to be with Jesse on that boat alone!
He did walk me to my car though.
"I had a good time, Dayna and am so glad you decided to come"
"I did too. Thanks for inviting me."
"I still have that housewarming gift to give you. I guess it's more of a Christmas gift now. Would it be okay to bring it by next week?"
"Sure. How about Thursday. I'm pretty open all day" I think he was disappointed I said "day" and not evening, but I have to be cautious now. "You can come for lunch" I said, trying to make the situation better.
"It's a date. See you at twelve, then?" He said and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Wow, that was different than last night's kiss!
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12/20
Karen Cooke called me and made her appointment. I felt sort of weird having her come to my house but it's where I do business. My office happens to be the bedroom in the front of the house, right off the front entrance so my clients really never go into the interior of my house. You walk in the foyer, which is quite large with a bench and a coat rack in there. Then you go into the first room on the right and that's the office. The powder room is across the foyer from there, so no one needs to go into my home during appointments. It's the main reason I chose this house - so I could do business and still have my privacy.
She came by yesterday and our conversation went like this:
What can I help you with, Karen?
I've been going through a rough patch and I feel that my health is suffering. I've been separated from my husband for about eight months now and although we've tried several times to work it out and get back together I'm so afraid it's over. I can't sleep and I'm not eating right and that's the worst thing for me right now because I just found out I'm pregnant.
Oh.
I'm eight weeks along and I don't want to jeopardize this pregnancy. I've lost too many babies before and I need to keep this one. I know it's what will bring my husband back to me.
Okay, let's start with a good vitamin supplement and I'll design a menu plan that will be nutritious for you and your baby. You can help me by filling out this survey. It'll let me know what things you will and won't want to eat. Will you excuse me for a minute while you take the survey?
I left the office and closed the door behind me. I was stunned. She was basically telling me that her baby was Jesse's. This is what she was using to get him back. They must've had some make up sex and got pregnant a couple months ago.
Well she was my client now and she had a health issue. I couldn't tell Jesse about it. I couldn't tell her I know Jesse either. It's weird, I thought. Jesse told me she threw him out cause she hated everything about him. I guess sometimes you re-evaluate what you have when it's about to go away for good. Huh. Now I know for sure what I need to do about me and Jesse. I'll continue to be his friend, not tell him about Karen and definitely not sleep with him. Damn!
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12/21
Jesse came by today for lunch and to give me the gift. It was a framed photo of us on his dad's yacht when we were dating in high school. It was precious to me that he wanted me to have it. I was sincerely thankful for it. I put it on the mantel next to the Christmas cards. Jesse was looking at all the cards and saw the one from Rob. I saw him reading it and didn't say a word - either did he.
"So what are you doing for New Year's Eve?" he asked me. "Going to mom and dad's party like always. And you?"
"There's a party at one of my sub contractors that I'll probably go to. You wouldn't want to skip the folks and hang with me would you?"
"No, I promised to be with the family at midnight. It's a tradition that I rarely miss"
"Okay. Can't blame a guy for trying"
"Are you going to be at your parents' for Christmas?"
"Yes"
"What about Karen? Is she going to join you?"
Jesse winced. I could tell that she was probably going to be there. I guess she had an aliance with his mom. I also knew this because she told me during our coaching session that she was going to be spending Christmas with her husband and his family. She was looking forward to it very much.
"If she's there, I'll stay long enough to open gifts and then I'm out. I do NOT want to spend any time with her and I asked mom not to invite her. She told me that she's family until the papers are signed. Which by the way she refuses to sign. My mom believes her bullshit story about that baby too and that makes me not want to be around either of them."
"Well if she is having your baby, maybe you should give it another shot. You two could make a happy life if you tried"
"I told you this is not my baby! I haven't touched her since April! I wish you did not hear that phone conversation. I'm so sorry you did"
I didn't know what to say so I made some lame excuse that I had work to do and started walking toward the front door. After he put his coat on, Jesse grabbed me and started to kiss me passionately. My stomach flip-flopped and my legs felt rubbery.
"This is what we were doing when we were so rudely interrupted" he reminded me. "And I want to finish what we started, Dayna. You tell me when you're ready, okay?" And he left.
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12/25
Christmas was great. I went to my parents' for Christmas Eve and after dinner we opened gifts. Right before dessert the door bell rang and it was Jesse. Wow - pretty nerve-y of him. My family welcomed him with open arms and were all happy to see him.
I got him alone in the kitchen and asked him what the hell he thought he was doing.
"I'm here to give you your Christmas present" "I didn't know we were exchanging gifts"
"We aren't - I'm giving you one. Ready?" "I guess. Is it more nostalgia from our past?"
"No, it's something for our future. Here"
I opened the envelope and inside was a pair of tickets on the train to the wine country. A day trip - no over-nighter so I felt okay about it. It was a really nice gift.
"I thought we could do it the first week of January. Work is generally slower that week so we both should be able to take off" He had a teasing twinkle in his eye. He knew this is when Rob was going to be here. I had to laugh as I gave him a hug. A+ for effort, that's for sure!
So where was I?
Oh yeah, it was late August and I was on Jesse's boat. In the middle of the bay. He just shared his vulnerable side with me. I reached over and touched his face. I felt tender for a moment, wanting to erase the pain on his face. Then I saw the fire start to flicker in his eyes. Uh oh - what now?
Too late to decide because he was already at my lips, had his hand on my back pulling me close to him. He hesitated briefly, his lips so very close to mine, as if to seek permission from my eyes.
I pulled away...
"Jesse, let's not do this. Not now" I pleaded and scooted away from him.
Jesse sighed and said "You're right. What was I thinking? Okay, let's go back"
****************************************************
I went home wondering if I did the right thing. The desire was there but I felt the timing was off. Don't get me wrong. It was a beautiful evening and it would've been so very romantic to kiss on the boat. But what would happen after that?
I got through Labor Day Weekend - busy with friends and looking at houses. It was time for me to get out of the rental scene and my business was successful for over a year now. I had an agent scouting houses in the area I wanted to live in. I was hoping to get into one before fall set in.
On September 6th I put an offer on a perfect 3 bedroom, 2 bath house with a garage and good sized yard. My agent said if all went well I'd be moving in on October 1st. My head was spinning as I started to pack my stuff. I had my house items and my office stuff to move. I was so excited to get a bigger place and to set up a "real" office in my home.
I was taking some wall art down when my cell rang. Had to let the voicemail take the call since I was on a step ladder and didn't want to get down. I figured it was a client and I'd call them back.
After a while I checked the message and you know who it was.
"Dayna, Jess here. I hope you're doing okay. I'm sure you're busy. It's been a while since we've talked. I wanted to give you your space before I called to apologize for the way I acted last month. I promise if you let me take you to dinner I'll try to behave myself. Give me a call when you get a chance."
I didn't call back. I didn't know what to say. I told myself that I have a lot on my plate right now and can't get tangled in this. Maybe I'll call him when I get the move done.
September 29th I signed the papers and got the keys to my new house. I was all boxed up and had my brothers and dad ready to move me.
I couldn't believe it - I bought a house all on my own! This was amazing and I was excited to start this new adventure. At the end of that weekend I was all moved in - my clothes and bedroom all ready and the rest of my stuff in boxes all over the house and in the garage.
Mel stopped by on Sunday night and brought some cheeseburgers and red wine.
"Mel, you know this is not good for us!" I laughed as I poured the wine. I haven't eaten a fast-food cheeseburger since I started the fitness thing a couple of years back. Home-cooked ones at a BBQ was as close I got. And damn did it taste good!
"You know, Dayna, there's something else you probably haven't had in a long time that would be just as good" Mel teased me. I told her everything and she knew my love life was on hold -- it's been almost a year since Greg moved to Florida and I have not had a boyfriend or anything that even came close to one.
"Very funny, Mel. It's just that I don't have time for a romance right now. I have this and my business and the holidays are coming - it's just too much to nurture anything. I don't have the energy"
"You don't have to have a boyfriend to have sex. There are plenty of guys who would love to be with you - no strings attached"
"Name one"
"Jesse"
GASP! How the hell did she know about Jesse?!
"Jesse who?" I tried to play it off.
"Don't give me that crap - you know exactly who I mean! I ran into him at the hardware store and he told me about your lunch date"
"He found me on the class mate web site and we started emailing a few months ago. That was not a date - he might be interested in being a client. He has some stress issues he needs help with"
"He's not interested in being a client and you know it! He has the same stress issues that you have - the ones that sex will help relieve"
"No, he's going through a divorce. I've already been there and done that and I didn't get help from Jesse"
"Yeah, but you did have Greg"
"And look what that got me - disappointment. No thanks"
"What are you afraid of? Jesse is gorgeous, loaded and so obviously into you from the way he talked"
"I don't need a boyfriend" I repeated.
She sighed. "Whatever, you DO need a man though and Jesse is perfect for you - always was, you know"
"I don't want to start anything with him. We're old news. That was a long time ago. He'd never be with me with no strings attached - it's not his style."
"Is that why you didn't call him back?"
Geez, did she know everything about this?
"I got busy"
"You got scared. He freaked you out on the boat. He told me how much he regrets that dumb move"
"You know what? Now I feel like we're in high school again. Are you serious that you two talked about me? I can't believe this! I didn't want anyone to know about any of this Jesse stuff. He has a lot of nerve to spill it"
I know Mel meant to be helpful. She always like Jesse and was sad when we broke up way back when. My life was so much different than it was when we were kids. I would not be the person I am today if I'd stayed with him. We'd probably be divorced and sharing parenting to a couple of kids and hating each other if we'd taken it to the next level at age 19.
I told Mel that. She agreed and then told me that Jesse is not the same man that I knew back then either and maybe I owe it to the both of us to see what the grown up guy is all about. Life no doubt shaped him into something entirely new and different than I was assuming I knew. Maybe she was right. Maybe...
**********************************************
The email said:
Dayna, I heard about your new house - congrats! I'm so happy for you. I have a housewarming gift for you. Call me or write back if you get a chance. Take care, Jesse
I hit the delete button. What's wrong with me? Well it's November 15th, I have a conference to go to that will keep me out of town until the day before Thanksgiving. There's no way I can make plans with Jesse. Every time I had a little down time to think about us, I got to aching for him because he is so fine and I discovered I really want to be with him - but with no strings attached. Impossible.
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December 4, 2006
Thanksgiving was great. I have so much to be thankful for. I spent the week putting up lights all around my house, getting my tree ready and some shopping done. I absolutely love my house! It looks so festive with all the holiday decorations.
The conference was uneventful as far as work goes. BUT I did meet a really nice guy who lives in Colorado who does the same thing as me - Wellness Coaching. We got along great and he's invited me to come skiing with him after Christmas! Wow - imagine that - skiing in the Rocky Mountains. I haven't been for a few years so I was hesitant to accept. That and I don't know the guy very well. I told him I'll be there if I can stay in my own hotel room. So I'll be going to the mountains with Rob - leaving December 27th and coming back the 31st - early in the morning so I won't miss New Year's here. My parents always throw a big party for our friends and family.
So get this - I was at the Christmas tree lighting our town does on the first Saturday of December and guess who I saw? Yep, Jesse. He was with a woman and I bet it's his wife, Karen. Maybe she changed her mind. I couldn't believe it - he came to my town's celebration to rub it in my face! He doesn't even live here! I know he saw me too.
I skipped the dance at the senior center because I didn't want to see him! I keep thinking about him and I want to talk to him but it's been so long now that he tried to reach me and I ignored him. It's better this way. Less complicated.
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December 10, 2006
I went to Mel and Trav's Christmas party last night and Jesse was there. I was talking to a gal from school who I hadn't seen in years and he walked by. I almost spit my drink out I was so shocked! I finished the conversation with her and went to get my coat. I didn't want to be in the same room with him. Was I angry at him? No, why would I be? I've been thinking about him alot - against my will - I even had a sexy dream about him last week after I saw him at the tree lighting.
As I came out of Mel's sitting room where she had the coats, Jesse caught me in the hall.
"Hi Dayna. Long time no see"
"Really? I saw you last weekend at the tree lighting"
"Why didn't you say hello?"
"Let's see, you were with your wife so why would I say hello?"
"My wife? What do you mean? Oh shit, Dayna that was my cousin, Debbie. She just moved here and wanted to go to the lighting. She has a guy she wanted to make jealous by seeing her with a man"
Was I supposed to be relieved? What a bunch of crap. If he saw me why didn't he come over to me then? I was speechless.
"Dayna, why haven't you called or emailed me? I've been waiting to hear from you. I really do want to be friends, you know. I tried to apologize for the boat thing. What can I do to make things right?"
"I don't know what you mean. You did nothing to apologize for. I've been busy and haven't had a chance to get a hold of you. That's all, we're good, don't worry about it"
"Okay. So do you want to be friends at all or should I just stop trying? I won't ask for much - just to see you once in a while. Can we do that?"
"Sure. I'm going to be out of town for a while after Christmas but we'll be in touch after the New Year starts. I really gotta go now."
"Where are you going? You never used to miss the holidays at home"
"I'm going skiing with a friend. I'll be home for New Year's Eve - I won't miss any of the holidays at home"
"Okay. Maybe I'll see you around then. Merry Christmas"
"Merry Christmas to you too"
I left without saying goodbye to Mel. I know she'd be sore that I was leaving so early. I wasn't in the mood anymore. I got in the car and took a deep breath. I noticed I'd missed a call on my cell. I called the voicemail and this is what I heard:
Hi Dayna, this is Rob. Hey, something came up and I won't be able to make our ski trip after Christmas. Can I get a rain check on that? I'll give you a call in a couple days to reschedule. Talk to you then"
Just my luck these days. Didn't sound like he was too into me after all. "reschedule"? Sounded as if I was a client or something.
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December 15, 2006
I was feeling blue so I headed out to look at some Christmas lights displayed in the local neighborhood. I should've planned a party at my house but I figured everyone was too busy already. This was the 2nd Christmas without Greg and I was lonely. We used to drive around and look at all the displays and if it was a dry evening we'd park and walk the neighborhood, hand in hand. We'd talk about what we'd do with our own display if we ever had one.
I found myself down by the marina. All the boats were decorated and festive looking. I was wondering if Jesse was going to be in the lighted boat parade tomorrow night. I parked in the public parking lot, took a deep breath and dialed his cell.
"Hello?"
"Hi. What are you doing?"
"Dayna?!"
"Yep. I thought I'd call you to see what you're up to these days"
"I was just stringing some lights on the boat. I'm doing the parade tomorrow night so I guess I should decorate her a little bit. What are you doing?"
"I'm in the parking lot above the slip. Can I come down?"
"Of course. Is something wrong? You don't sound like you"
"No, I'm fine I just wanted to be with a friend tonight"
"Stay right there. I'll come up and walk you down"
I could tell he was really happy to have me there. I decided it was time for me to come clean about "us" and how I felt. Well maybe not everything but didn't he deserve to have some peace of mind?
I got out of the car and headed down the ramp and met Jesse half-way. We used to do that when we were dating. We'd each start walking towards the other's house and meet half way in the middle.
He looked gorgeous. He had on a thick brick red sweater, tight faded jeans and was sporting a light beard. Looked very rustic and manly. My stomach flipped. What am I doing? I wondered.
His smile was big and generous and he greeted me with a hug equally big and generous. I found myself laughing and hugging back. It felt so good.
Once on the boat, he made hot cocoa and added a shot of peppermint schnapps. There was Christmas music faintly in the background and strings of lights all over the floor.
"Looks like you could use some help here" I said.
"I got it handled pretty good. I got a system"
"Really? Cause it looks to me like you're new at this" I teased.
"You're right. Karen always hired it out. Was too impatient to wait for me to find a few hours to do it. This is actually the first time I've done this in a long time. At least the boat is small enough that it shouldn't take long."
"Let's start by untangling all these. You're supposed to keep them somewhat organized as you take them out of the packaging"
We were on opposite sides of the room and got the lights untangled and stretched out. I wrapped them around my bent elbow and headed up and out to the deck. Jesse had a roll of duct tape and we started putting them up. Within an hour we were done.
"I'm getting us more cocoa so we can sit here and enjoy them before you have to go"
He was respecting my space. No pressure. Funny how that can make me feel at ease. Like it's all my idea.
"I have a better idea. Let's take her out in the bay. The moon is great and I want to talk to you about something"
He dropped anchor and we sat on the deck, lights off, moon bright. I was nervous and was wondering where to start.
"Thanks for this. I really needed something festive tonight."
"Are you interested in coming with me for the parade tomorrow or do you already have plans? I have a few of my employees and their families coming aboard so it should be fun"
"That sounds good. Can I let you know later?"
"Of course"
"Jess, I need to tell you something. Please try to listen with an open mind, okay? Ever since you contacted me 6 months ago I've wondered of your intentions. I didn't know about your marriage, I didn't know about much. I do know that you've been growing on me and I've been fighting it. I'm sorry that I've avoided you. I have baggage too and there's a lot you don't know. I would very much like to be friends but this sexual tension I feel is making that difficult. Part of me says to sleep with you and get it over with. I can move on after my curiousity is satisfied. But I'm afraid. I want no involvement beyond sex but yet I want to be friends. It's very complicated. It's like I need two different things and I'm seeking them from one man. I need a friend and I need a lover but I don't want a boyfriend. Does any of this make sense at all to you?"
"Kind of. You had a lover who was also your best friend and it didn't work out. Now you want a lover that's not your friend and a friend that's not your lover. Am I close?"
"Yes. So I want to know which one you're going to be. You can't be both to me so I'm going to let you choose"
"I don't know which part of you I want more. You're an amazing woman and I know you're in need of a friend to spend time with. I'm also so super attracted to you. I won't lie. I desire you very much and know that we'd be so happy with the sex. I think about it all the time. But I don't want to choose one or the other. And I don't want to tell you it's all or nothing either because we don't know each other that well so it'd be wrong to do that. We both have a lot on our plates - me especially so let's just see what happens and be happy with what nature decides for us"
I wanted to grab him and kiss him right then. He said all the right things and I was so turned on by his maturity. He had twisted it enough to make me decide rather than him. Nice play. I really wanted to sleep with him. I wasn't in love and didn't actually want to be but I was very much in the mood for messing around. The comfortable playfulness we shared doing the lights was fun and I wondered if I could find another "friend" to be like that with if I chose sex over friendship with Jesse. But if I chose the friendship over sex with him, would I be able to find someone to turn me on so? I've been out in the world without Greg for a while now and there were very few who did it for me.
I sighed. I had come here tonight to get laid. I knew that now. I'd expected Jess to jump right at the chance and he'd left it up to me. He promised he'd never pressure me. Just like when we were teens - he waited for me to be ready for over a year. I didn't want it to be my choice. I didn't want to be the one to blame when we made the wrong choice. It scared me a little that he would skip sex for friendship if that's what I wanted. He knows what will happen if we aren't having sex. We'll grow close and sex will become inevitable. But it'll be making love then because all the feelings will be there. Damn! That's what I want to avoid.
I wanted casual sex and I wanted it then. I was going to throw the consequences to the wind and have some fun. I'd deal with it later when we were done.
I looked at Jesse and he was smiling a crooked little smile. He thinks I'm going to play it safe and want to be friends first. I'll show him.
I put my hands on his shoulders and pulled him to me. He did look a little surprised as my lips touched his and then we both closed our eyes. The swirls in my stomach took over and sent warm sparks to my loins. His lips were so soft and his mouth tasted faintly of chocolate and peppermint. We were locked in an embrace and he started to explore my mouth with his tongue. Delicious. A better kisser than years before, somehow I knew he would be. His hands found my breasts and then he slipped one hand into my vest and found my hardened nipple. I was getting really excited - I knew this was going to be really, really good. We slid to a laying down position and I could feel his hardness against my pelvis. We were like this for what seemed like a long time but was probably only 10 minutes.
"Let's go below" he whispered.
"Okay"
We were heading down to the bedroom and then his cell phone rang.
Hi ~~ My name is Dayna and I've never written a blog before. I figured it was time to let others in on my adventures. I doubt I'll ever write a novel of my life story but somehow I want people to get a glimpse of me. I have a fantastically fun life -- you'll see :)
I'll be 35 in a few weeks. They say it's the new 25. I hope it's better cause I wasn't too great 10 years ago. Shy, quiet chunky and kinda homely. I'm a late bloomer I guess. I didn't go to my 10-year reunion. I didn't have an interest in seeing anyone - well I did but I didn't fancy anyone seeing me.
Last summer my high school boyfriend found me on a class mates web site. He wondered where I've been. Been thinking of me, etc. I haven't gone too far from my hometown, but far enough away that I don't see anyone from those days very often.
Anyway, Jesse found me and it took me a few days to email him back. I did and it started a ball rolling. We emailed back and forth for sometime and then he asked to call me. I wondered even then if it was such a hot idea. I let him call me and then a lot of other stuff happened. We'd been having a flirt thing on email for a few weeks and then the phone calls got us to thinking we should meet. For lunch, during the day, in a public place. You get the picture.
Now I haven't seen him since we were 22 or 23. Back then we looked a lot like we did when we dated all junior year in high school. I ran into him at a bar. He was alone and I was with my (jealous) boyfriend at the time so we didn't get to reminiesce too much. Well my boyfriend, Jake, decided to pick a fight with me and leave me there with a few of my girlfriends which egged me on to check out what Jesse'd been up to. So we had a few beers together, played some games of darts and he drove me home. I lived with some room mates in a big house and was able to sneek in without them asking a bunch of questions. So me and Jesse were watching tv and started to make out. He was all over the idea of us having "grown up sex" (not the fumbling teenager sex we had at 17) As much as I thought it'd be fun - I refused because I didn't want him to think he was my boyfriend afterwards. Too bad there was no such thing as "friends with benefits" 13 years ago! We continued to run into each other for a few months but nothing ever happened because of my fear of him wanting to be my boyfriend. I was getting out of one thing with Jake and didn't want to get into another one.
Okay, so now it's back to this year. We got together for lunch, right? Remember I said I wasn't much to write home about a few years back? I've been on the work-out, eat right scene for a while and have changed A LOT since Jess last saw me 13 or so years ago. I told him I'd be wearing a red top and sitting in the back of the restaurant's bar. I arrived early so I could be waiting for him. I was working on a client's profile and had my head down when he walked over.
(I'm a CCN - certified clinical nutritionist - and do wellness coaching. I'm self-employed so I can easily leave my office for lunch anytime I want to)
Oh yeah, Jesse walked over to me and startled me cause I was deep in thought. "Dayna?" I looked up and he smiled when he finally recognized me in that grown up, fit body I now have.
So he looked really good and we smiled a lot throughout that meal. Small talk: how's work? what exactly do you do for work? do you want to see my boat?
WHAT?!
"I have a 40 foot boat moored at the marina. Do you want to go see it?" "Now?" "Yeah, unless you're busy" "Well I thought you had to get back to work" (that was my safety net for this lunch meeting)
"I run the jobs, Dayna. I can take the afternoon off"
"Let me think about this for a minute" I said and headed for the ladies' room.
Geez, it WAS a nice Friday afternoon. Fall was coming so days like that were limited and I really didn't have much left to do for the week that couldn't wait. But this was JESS - he looked great and he wanted to show me his boat.
So what's the hold up, Dayna? You're single, he's single. Aha! I remember now. He might think he's my boyfriend if I go with him on his boat. Hmmm...is this the Losers Only Club? Dated freaks and once upon a time married a big loser. A decent guy has no place with me. Well maybe once a few years back but that didn't work out.
I decided to take this on. What the hell? Didn't I regret all those years ago that there was no such thing as friends with benefits? Haven't I been wondering what grown up sex with Jesse would be like?
HOLD IT! It's just a trip to the marina to see his boat. Better not get ahead of myself. Maybe he's gay now or has a girl he hasn't told me about. Why would going to see his boat equal sex with Jess?
I came back to the table and told Jess I'd come see his boat if he gave me a little time to finish up some work stuff. He gave me the slip number his boat was in and then rose to leave.
"It's just my boat you're coming to see, Dayna. You shouldn't over-analyze it" he said with that wicked, crooked, half smile of his.
I finished the client thing, closed my laptop and ordered a glass of wine (liquid courage) My mind wandered back to that night we were alone together after the bar.
"Come on D, don't you think this could be an amazing night? I'm much better than I was when we dated. Hell I was a virgin back then, I HAVE to be better dontcha think?"
I mumbled something about Jake and being faithful to him - he was my boyfriend even if he did just ditch me at the bar.
"That guy doesn't deserve you. You're funny and smart and a lot friendlier than he is. You should break it off with him. Call him now so you can unpack your guilt trip bags and let me take you somewhere much nicer"
Funny and Smart? What about Gorgeous and Sexy? I think that had a little to do with why I didn't take him up on his offer that night - that and the fear he'd consider himself my boyfriend - and I know it had a lot to do with why I took the path I did. That and marrying a bum who refused to eat right, partied all the time and whose idea of exercise was walking to the car to go rent a movie.
I married Trent when I was 25 and divorced him right before I turned 30. It was my birthday gift to myself. A new decade and a new me. I joined a gym, went on an eating plan and started jogging 3 times a week.
That's when I met Greg. He was a bronze God. Totally fit, muscles so fine and a gorgeous head of hair. He was my trainer. He taught me to work out properly, taught me to eat right and taught me how to use my body in a very passionate way. We went on hiking trips, vacations to sunny locales and contemplated living together. He encouraged me to go back to school, to do something in the fitness or health field. We were together when I graduated from my courses with my degree and he helped me set up my business.
And then he broke my heart. Not by falling for someone else. Not by turning evil. But by being his wonderful, ambitious self. He'd decided to move to Florida and pursue his career. He'd been hired to train some body builders in a big competition. And there'd been some buzz at Muscle and Fitness for him to write a column for them. Beautiful and Smart. So why didn't I go with him? He never asked. He knew I wouldn't go. I love it here and my whole family is here. I couldn't. I shouldn't. I wanted to. He never asked. Sigh...
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So I tried to talk myself out of the marina thing on the way to the marina. I have clients that need attention. I have yardwork to do. I have a cat to feed. I have calls to make. I have dinner plans with Mel. Oh, good! I have dinner plans! Whew! That will get me out of staying long. Just a quick tour of the boat and I'm gone.
The phone rang. It was Mel. Her kids both came down with a cough and runny nose. Can she get a rain check on dinner? Omen? Hmm...
I parked my car and walked down the dock to the slip. I didn't have to look far cause there was Jesse standing right next to her. His boat was named Darling Dana. I gasped out loud when I saw the lettering. Jesse chuckled. "She was already named when I bought her. It was one of the reasons I decided on her." "Not spelled the same" I said lamely, butterflies in my stomach.
She was gorgeous. A beautiful cabin cruiser with a good sized galley and bedroom under the bow. The deck in front of the captain's seat was perfect for sun-bathing. The sun was starting to sink a little and the late summer air had a bit of fall in it. I clutched at my arms and rubbed the goose bumps.
"Want a jacket?" "No, I can't stay long" "Too bad cause I was just about to open this bottle of wine and I hate to drink it all myself" "I'm sure you'll manage just fine. If you can't drive home, you can sleep right here"
Shit! Why did I have to reference the sleeping quarters? Was I mad?
He smiled as he opened the wine, poured two glasses and handed me one.
"Let's take a spin around the bay. We'll only be twenty minutes or so" Jesse said as he started the engine. What else could I do but sit back, relax and take in the pink and orange sky as we cruised around the little bay.
We dropped anchor somewhere in the middle and sat on the deck together. Jesse had given me a fisherman's sweater of his that was too big but was so warm and cozy. That's when he told me about his wife. He'd been married for almost as long as we hadn't seen each other. Karen was her name. She hated the boat (not because of the name) She hated his job and the long hours he kept. She hated that they didn't have kids. She loved the look on his face when she told him she was leaving him. That was in the spring so he was only a few months into it. She didn't want anything but the house so he actually was sleeping on the boat at least until he decided what to do.
I don't know what got into me. Maybe the wine, maybe the warm, yummy sweater, maybe the sunset, maybe Jesse's vulnerability. I don't know but it had me feeling funny.
What do you think happened next?
