2 posts tagged “new year's eve”
Champagne cocktail $9
Strappy sandals $94
Party dress…$200
Look on my face after RICK asked me to dance…
Priceless
I’m sure my face was contorted as I tried to mask my feelings of shock, horror and happiness.
I wanted to run, scream, slap him, kiss him.
All I could muster was a weak “sure” and headed to the dance floor.
He'd come out of nowhere. The element of surprise was his advantage. What was he doing here? How long had he been here? I was confused and pleased; annoyed and angry.
The song was an awkward tempo: not fast, not slow. A medium-paced song that leaves the dance floor half empty. I looked at him and his cocky half smile. I took in his straight white teeth and fresh-shaved face. His expensive-looking shirt and the scent of his distinct cologne. My stomach did a flip when he took my hand and brought it to his lips to kiss it. I pulled it back quickly and thanked God the song was over and I could retreat back to my table.
The girls at the table looked curious as I sat down, ignoring the good-looking man following behind me. I needed a second to get my composure. He’d been gone from my life a long time and I thought my feelings for him - the good, the bad and the ugly - were subsiding. I was wrong. The chaos inside my head was overwhelming.
I never even thought about what I’d do in a situation like this because I never thought in a million years this would happen. Utterly unprepared was I. I’d put my defenses up; play it cool and uncaring. But my heart won out as I realized I was just so damned happy to see him. Playing games takes too much energy.
“Do you want to sit down?” Sandi asked Rick as she gestured to the chair next to mine that she’d vacated. Rick looked at me questioningly as he sat. I made the introductions then started firing off all the questions I had for him. The club was loud, making our conversation difficult so I gave up. Pretty much all I got was that his aunt had passed away; he was in Washington taking care of arrangements, was here with his cousin and was so glad to see me. There was no way I was going to let bitterness ruin this reunion. It could be a fun night, he’d leave in a few days and we’d get the good closure we didn’t get the last time we met.
Rick’s cousin joined us and we all danced and laughed and the hours ticked by like minutes. I was having a really good time and was surprised when the countdown to midnight started. Everyone in the club was chanting the numbers along with the newscasters at the Space Needle event on the big screen TV. A collective “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” was yelled, glasses were raised, horns were blown and I got kissed. A big, friendly, meant-to-be-platonic New Year’s kiss, but my heart flipped just the same. I hugged Rick, said Happy New Year, and then excused myself to the ladies’ room.
He was waiting for me when I came out. Waiting in the little alcove tucked to the side of the restroom entrances. His smile was genuine as I walked toward him. He took a step to close the distance and with one hand behind my head and the other on my waist, kissed me in a not meant-to-be-platonic way.
The warm glow I had was keeping me from resisting. I had thought about this all evening, though I knew I shouldn’t and now his lips were on mine, moving down my neck. His hand moved to my ass, pushing my pelvis into his. I could taste the salt from my own body as he came back up to kiss me deeply. It was much too much for a public place, even if we were out of the way of the main traffic.
“God, Dayna,” he sighed. “I’ve missed you so much.”
I was speechless. The champagne, or probably the kiss, had cluttered my mind. I smiled weakly and took his hands off my waist, still holding them in mine. It would be the easiest thing in the world to tell him the same and take him home. It would be so wonderful, I knew, but it was wrong for me. All wrong. I wasn’t capable of a hook-up with him. After all this time I knew I still had feelings and a one-nighter would hurt me more than help me. The memories of how good it was with him were tempting me. I felt like a woman in a cartoon with an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other – both telling her how to act. The devil wanted self gratification and a good-bye fuck while the angel warned of all the trouble he’d caused me.
I sighed.
“I’ve tried hard to not think of you so I wouldn’t miss you. And that’s why I have to leave now. Happy New Year, Rick. Take care.” I dropped his hands and started to walk away. He was right at my side within seconds.
“Let me drive you home.”
“It’s a bad idea. Please, let’s talk tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he said reluctantly.
He walked with me to the exit and opened the cab door for me. He leaned in and kissed me again, a goodnight kiss absent of the longing I felt in the last one.
“Tomorrow…” he said as he closed the door. I looked away but I was not quick enough. His crooked grin was etched on my mind as I sat in silence on the ride home.
I was proud of myself for not giving in – as hard as it was. It felt good to make the right choice.
This New Year’s Eve will be a bit different from the ones I’ve known. At dinner over at my parents’ tonight, my dad dropped the bomb that they aren’t having their annual party.
My brother is having the party at my parents' former home. There’ll be a lot of people there that he and his wife have invited - ones that I don't necessarily know. My mom and dad wanted to pass the baton to them because their new house is smaller and a lot of their friends wanted to stay home this year. They can’t house us all like before (we all stayed in our old bedrooms) So that tradition definitely had to come to an end. I feel weird about it. So many years I've spent New Year's with my family and close friends at my parents' party. A lot has changed this year and maybe a new way to start the New Year is in order too. A compromise has been made: everyone will do what they want on the Eve and we’ll come together as a family on New Year’s Day for brunch at the folks’.
For a quick minute I thought I’d stay the night with mom and dad anyway. Watch Dick Clark’s special, drink whiskey and sprite, and fall asleep on the couch after the Space Needle fireworks celebration on TV got over. My dad put a stop to that.
“Dayna, you are much too young to be staying in with your folks. Don’t you have a party of your own to go to? Your friends must have something going on. You need to be out with other people your age.”
“I like being with you all, Dad,” I protested. I was having a hard time visualizing ringing in the New Year with a bunch of people I barely knew at some random party. To me, it’s about reflecting on the old year, saying goodbye to the good and the bad it held and looking optimistically ahead surrounded by those who love me and whom I love. Even if that means spending the evening doing something a little on the dull side. This was just his way of getting me out there in the potential dating pool.
“I’m happy the way things are, Dad.” It was a loaded statement. Happy that I’m dateless on New Year’s, happy I’m mate-less, happy to stay in on the biggest party night of the year. He knew it wasn’t entirely true. I looked at his tired face and felt his love for me. I know what the one thing left for him to do in this life is: see his only daughter completely content. It’s a tall order but I should at least let him believe that I’m trying.
“Okay! I’ll find some friends and hit the town. Happy?”
“You can tell me all about it over bloody marys on New Year’s Day. That tradition will never change.”
So I am in on the Girls Night Out with Sandi and some others. I’ll dress up and go to the casino’s dance club; I’ll have a good time and ring in the New Year a completely foreign-to-me way. Sandi is excited. She has a table reserved by the dance floor and reservations for our group at the nice restaurant in the casino. My choices were limited and this seemed like the more fun of my option. It was either hang with the single ladies or else go to Mel’s party where everyone is paired up and I’d be a fifth wheel all night. As much as I love Mel, I couldn’t bear what possibly could turn into the most depressing night of the year.
