2 posts tagged “sex”

10/30/08

I am working on me.  Here’s how that went today:

6 am: up and in the shower.  I try to think positive thoughts.  I am a strong person, a good friend, a nice girl.

Well, scratch that last thing, but I’m trying!

7 am: in the car with my soy latte’.  Listening to self help shit on CD.  It all sounds like a load.  I like my cyber-shrink better (you know who you are!!)

7:30 am: at my desk at the health club, checking email.  An invitation from a former FWB.  My mind wanders to sexy thoughts. NO!  I tell myself “you are supposed to be focusing on yourself and your well-being.”  Celibacy sucks!  But I’m determined to stick with it.  Supposedly this will help me “find the real me”

I check my messages on Vox.  Hmmm…that was interesting…

8 am -11 am:  working on helping others with their nutritional needs. (my job at the club)

11:30 am: I am done with my part time job and am changing into my workout clothes.  Hit the treadmill.  The guy across from me is smiling. He’s new here.  I’ve seen him once before.  Nice smile.  Cute face.  Great ass.  I change the incline on the machine and now we’re taking a hike up a hill and he stops to rest.  I come up behind him and place my palms on his rock hard gluts.  He sighs and turns around to face me.  Brushes his finger along my cheek, leans in for kiss and then

“Hey how long are you gonna be on there?”  Someone asks me.

“I’m done,” I say and head for the exit.  Mr. Great Ass is gone.  Thank God.  Dr. Headhealer would like to hear about this scenario but isn’t going to.

1 pm: back at my home office.  Going over my clients’ files while scarfing a chicken salad sandwich. And they come to ME for advice?  I need to get a grip on more than my sexual fantasies.

1:30 pm: client appointment

2:30 pm: client appointment

3:30 pm: client appointment

4:30 pm: client appointment

5:30 pm:  check phone messages.  Mel wants to go out to dinner.  Mom wants me to come to dinner.  Gage wants to meet for drinks. (fuck, I can’t do it but want to so badly!)  Jesse called to say hi, do I want to hang out and watch a movie?  (why am I afraid of his friendship?)  Sandy wants to go to happy hour and then ladies’ night at the casino. (no, can’t be around men right now.)  Girl Scouts of America called to confirm my speaking engagement (career women of the Northwest – good thing it’s not anything on a personal level)

I decided that I should see Jesse.  It’s been months since he’s been around and I really need a male friend right now.  It’s part of my therapy.  To be friends with an attractive man in which no sexual contact will be made.  He’s really sexy though.  Especially when it’s been a while for me.  But I have my reasons, right?  I reach for the phone and then wonder how it’s helpful to torture myself?  It would be so nice to be held. And kissed.  And touched.  Shit!  I slam  the phone down and take a cold shower.

7 pm:  I am eating dinner at Mom and Dad’s – for the 3^rd time this week.  It’s a safe zone.  Tomorrow is going to be rough.  Costume party at Mel’s. I have to go.  I can’t break tradition.  She’s expecting me and she’s invited several single men for me to meet.  Great.  I can’t even tell my best friend that I’m on the wagon. I think Jesse will be there.  That’ll be good.  A friend to hang out with.  I need to practice being friends with a guy.  Nothing more than friends.  I did that before with Rick. Friends for a long time.  Took it really slow.  So slow and so fine that I fell in love.  Only I couldn’t handle it and had to sabotage it. 

My mind wanders.  I hear my dad talking vaguely about someone I know.  He’s droning on about how great it is.  Somethin about how I’ll really like her. 

“Dayna, did you hear me?”  He asks.

“Sorry, Daddy.  I have a headache tonight.  What did you say?”

My mom busts in and answers for him:

“He said Jesse’s getting married!  Isn’t that wonderful, honey?”

I’m exhausted and so glad it’s the weekend! The last couple of days have really gotten to me. And I have to say that I’m relieved that Jesse is tied up on a problem job and asked for a rain check for the train trip. I can’t face him right now.

Thursday I had my session with Karen – Jesse’s wife. She told me stuff that made me want to slap the crap out of him. He was always coming home late, breaking plans and leaving her alone. She suspected an affair. She thought that having a baby would be the ticket to their marriage. He’d be a good dad if he’d make the time to stick around and a kid would make him want to, right? Every time she was pregnant and lost the baby, he’d stay things to her that were unfeeling – it wasn’t meant to be, maybe it’s better this way, etc. Then last spring she told him how unhappy his behavior had made her over the last few years and she wanted to go to counseling and he said no, let’s just put this thing out of it’s misery and moved out the next day. (the story he told me was much different – she wanted to leave him)

So over the summer she tried to reconcile with him, telling him she’d do anything to get him to come home and he wouldn’t even return her calls. In October she said he showed up on her doorstep and told her he was sorry for being so mean, would try to be nicer and was there to get some of his things. Somehow she got him to sleep with her and although she thought it would be the road to recovery, he called her the next day and told her what a big mistake it was and that it was definitely over – he was consulting an attorney to get the divorce started.

She had of course gotten pregnant that time they had sex.

Now he didn’t want anything to do with her, told her she’s making it all up and to get lost.

I was pretty upset by this story because it did in fact contradict everything he’s told me about their break up and the relationship they now had. I couldn’t help but believe her when there was no reason for her to lie to me – I was her coach.

Okay, so I met Rob downtown in the lounge of his hotel. We had a great time at dinner and at the comedy show and then we headed back to the hotel for some dancing in the club there.

About 11:30 Rob asked me to come up to his room for a nightcap. I remembered the last time we shared a nightcap in his room at the conference and how difficult it was for me to leave his side.

I am not naïve and I knew what would happen if I accepted his invitation for that drink in his room. Part of me wanted to go to spite Jesse and then I thought, "what is up with that? – Jesse doesn’t deserve even spiteful feelings from me – the lying ass!"

Besides, it’d been a LONG time since I’d had sex and this guy was ready and willing and so gorgeous!

We were in his room and Rob got us a drink from the mini bar. We sat side by side on the couch drinking our drinks and having small talk. He got up to put our glasses on the dresser and took my hand for me to stand as well.

He started kissing me – he is a great kisser! He started to undo the buttons on my blouse and then kissed my neck and down to my breasts, which were still in my bra. He came back up to my mouth and his hands were on my ass and thighs, lifting my skirt.

He guided me to the bed and I sat down. Kneeling down, he unzipped my boots and took them off. He started caressing my calves and then ran his tongue the length of my right leg, zip-zagging from the front to the inner thigh. He reached my crotch and teased my lips with his tongue, through my panty hose. It felt absolutely delicious.

Then he was pushing me up on the bed, my head getting closer to the headboard as he slowly peeled my panty hose off. I reached back and undid the button and zipper on my skirt and pushed it off as well. He got on the bed, sort of next to me and removed my top and bra then he slithered down the length of me and started to eat me. I squirmed with delight. He was good at what he was doing. His fingers were inside me and then his tongue and then his hands were on my ass cheeks, getting good leverage and his face ground into my twat.

I arched my back and came with great force. I let out a cry as he stood up and tore his clothes off. He was back on me before the convulsing stopped inside my pussy.

He laid his rock hard cock on my belly and I started to stoke it, easing him toward my tits. He put his huge manhood between them and he started to rock forward as I pushed my tits together, my nipples were so hard they hurt.

A few minutes of this and Rob exploded all over my chest and neck. He rolled over onto his side and let out a huge sigh.

I got up to get a towel and when I got back Rob was snoring. Wow, I didn’t know a quick romp like the one we had could knock it out of a guy. I got dressed and left his room as quietly as I could.

So now it’s Saturday and instead of the train trip with Jesse, I’m mulling over the last few days.

Rob called me on Friday to apologize for falling asleep. He was tired from the business trip and admitted that he had drunk too much when we got back to the hotel from the comedy show. I told him there was no problem, I actually had a really good time and that the things we did were totally sexy and would have me thinking about the next time he was in town. Then he asked me to come to Colorado in a few weeks and I said I would.

I have a good feeling about us. We’re having fun together and that’s what I need right now.

As for Jesse, he did call me to make a new date and I ignored the call, letting it go to voicemail.